⫯ bangkok

@❀ lee eunji 「sᴏʀᴀ」ᵖᵃⁿᵈᵒʳᵃ The air felt charged, and not necessarily in a good way. Was this what had become of them? All the laughter and joking, were replaced with awkward small smiles and tense stances. If there was ever a time that Jaejin wished he could time travel, go back to before things went so wrong between them, maybe he could have prevented this. Perhaps things would have been better if he had never confessed to her in the first place. How he could have allowed himself to fall for someone so easily was beyond him, and it frustrated him, especially now with things being as they were. He wanted nothing more than to hold her, kiss her, and tell her how much she meant to him. That he was sorry for rejecting her, for hurting her. To beg for her forgiveness and for another chance.

Each wish he had tugged on his heartstrings and he found himself struggling to keep his composure around her. How is it that after all this time, she still had such control over him. It was frustrating, it was stifling, it felt wrong. Jaejin was always in control, especially when it came to his emotions, but Eunji managed to tear that all apart. There was no logic when it came to her, things simply were. It was so easy yet so complicated at the same time and it made Jaejin want to scream and punch something. As he listened to her words, he found himself fighting the urge to scoff. Even after all this time, she was still so worried about what people would think if they saw the two of them together.

"As well as I can be I suppose. I've just been busy, as I'm sure you have as well. You've been getting more popular these days especially, I'm glad you're getting more solo gigs. You deserve it." He hated it. He hated how they had to resort to small talk about things neither of them truly cared about. Yet he indulged her. He didn't dare call bull and ask why she /really/ came. Even if she /did/ want to see how he was, and he did believe her when she said it, she could have easily asked that any time. She didn't have to come to his room, alone, at night, just to play catch up like they were two old friends. What he hated most...was that he was willing to sit there and let her talk about whatever she wanted, trivial or not, if it meant staying in her presence for just a bit longer.

@❀ nam jaejin 「ᴄᴀsᴘɪᴀɴ」ˣ.ᶜʰᵃᵒˢ She took a seat on the chair beside the bed when he gestured her to sit down, The awkwardness was still there but she honestly didn't know what else to do to ease that away. In all honesty, she missed the way they bantered before. But was it too late now to go back to there? Sora didn't know. All left is just to try to at least fix their relationship before everything went too damaged to be repaired. As he asked her reason for the sudden visit, her brain momentarily freeze. Checking up on him was definitely not a lie, after all he was still one of most important person in her life.

"It's not a lie." She started, eyes dropped down to the carpet, suddenly finding the pattern more interesting than setting her eyes anywhere else. "I did want to check up on you, oppa. It's been...awhile since the last time we talked. We were in different plane too earlier so I couldn't really approach you to talk. Not to mention at the airport there were a lot of eyes and cameras watching." Fiddling with the ring on her finger, a habit she always do when she feels nervous, Sora gulped down her saliva as her brain still trying to process more of what she wanted to say without making it too obvious that she missed him. But Eunchae's words again ring in her ear to make it a purely business feeling in order for her not getting hurt anymore. "So yes, how...have you been..?"

@❀ lee eunji 「sᴏʀᴀ」ᵖᵃⁿᵈᵒʳᵃ He held back a sigh of relief when she took the bottle, some of the tension easing up a bit but still too much for his liking. A soft chuckle escaped his lips, however, at the sound of the grumble from her stomach. He mentally commented on how cute it was, not wanting to risk her hitting him and leaving, though admittedly he’d take her hitting and throwing things at him again over the awkward tension. “I don’t mind at all.” He really didn’t, even though he probably should. “Dare I say, you can stay as long as you’d like.” Still, he took another sip of his water before making his way to a few menus on his side table his manager had left him.

“Tom yum soup…Tom yum soup…” He softly mumbled to himself as he quickly perused the menus to find a place. Once located, he just as quickly ordered enough for the both of them. “I ordered some mango sticky rice too, I hope that’s okay?” Drinks were out of the question, he wasn’t going to put her nor himself in a compromising situation. Not when they had too many important things to discuss. But there was only one thing that kept echoing in his mind and before he knew it, it was blurting out of him. “Why?” He cleared his throat and took another sip of his water before settling in a comfortable position, gesturing to the open space before him, offering the other bed or chair for her to sit. “Why did you come here Eunji? Was it really just to check on me? We have some time to kill before the food gets here, so we might as well talk.”

@❀ nam jaejin 「ᴄᴀsᴘɪᴀɴ」ˣ.ᶜʰᵃᵒˢ As he brought up the talk about the awkwardness that filled the air, Eunji couldn't help but grimace at it; at least she wasn't the only one who felt this...uncomfortable tension between the two of them. Well, she should've known, given the fact that Jaejin was pretty observant about things around him (most of the time, anyway.) She took the bottled water from him with a soft thank you and almost immediately opened the cap to drink half of the water before setting it aside.

"Eh? Well, I haven't eaten yet but I don't want to bother you for too long..." but her stomach decided to betray her at that right moment as it grumbled loud enough resulting in her face turning red from embarrassment as she covered her stomach in a futile attempt to hide the obvious fact that the loud embarrassing sound was coming from her. She looked up at him with a sheepish grin. "...But if you don't mind me hanging around longer then... yes, please? Can I have a tom yum soup with salad...? hehe"

@❀ lee eunji 「sᴏʀᴀ」ᵖᵃⁿᵈᵒʳᵃ Jaejin had always been an observant one, so it was easy to see the effect he had on her. There was a strange pride that filled him with the realization, though he was able to keep his composure in front of her. One thing he hated though, was how awkward she seemed to be. He supposed that’s what happens when in the circumstances they’re in. “You wanted…to check up on me?” It was curious, strange even, to consider the possibility that she even wanted anything to do with him after everything that had happened, though he wasn’t going to complain.

“Um…I’m alright I suppose? All things considered, I mean.” He had the decency to wince a little at his response before sighing, a hand coming up to run through his still-damp locks. “Okay I don’t know about you but I hate this…whatever this is.” He frustratedly gestured between the two of them before making his way over to the mini fridge to grab a bottle of water. Without hesitation, he took out a second bottle and held it out to her to take. “It’s late, have you eaten yet? I can order something and we can catch up. I’d love to hear what you’ve been up to since we last saw each other. I miss talking to you.” He stopped himself from continuing, from saying what he really wanted to say, that he missed /her/, opting to simply hold the bottle out and wait for her answer instead.

@❀ nam jaejin 「ᴄᴀsᴘɪᴀɴ」ˣ.ᶜʰᵃᵒˢ Okay. She totally never expected to ever see him in this kind of setting. He being half , with only a towel wrapped around his waist was enough to make Sora's face turn bright red, and immediately looked away, her heart started to beat faster from the sight, well she was still a normal girl after all and plus she had no experience in seeing an almost body this close. But at the mention that someone might see them being like this, Sora quickly nodded and stepped inside his room, all while trying to avoid looking at him.

While waiting for him to finish changing, Sora walked toward the window as she tried to calm herself down and remind herself about the reason why she had come to his room at such an hour. She caught his figure from the reflection of the window and breathed out a sigh of relief as he now was fully clothed. Though she hated it when his simple compliment was able to turn her cheeks redder in color. She forced out a smile as she looked at him, finally taking in his appearance. "And I have to say you don't look half bad yourself, oppa. Um..." Her brain just had to choose this moment to be short-circuited, all the words she wanted to say suddenly disappeared and were replaced by the memories of him; back when everything was still fine between them, and not this air of awkwardness surrounded them like right now. "Um... how are you?" She mentally kicked herself for such a lame choice of words to start the conversation but at least the ball was rolling, she couldn't back out now. "I haven't seen you in awhile. So yeah. I wanted to check up on you."

@❀ lee eunji 「sᴏʀᴀ」ᵖᵃⁿᵈᵒʳᵃ Restless. That was all Jaejin felt the entire flight to Bangkok. He tried to distract himself with some of the plane movies and even tried to nap. Nothing seemed to keep his mind from floating back to Eunji. He missed her so much, though he’d never admit it out loud. He wanted to talk to her, say he was sorry, even beg for her forgiveness, but he knew that would be impossible. He sighed, feeling a heaviness settle in his chest. He closed his eyes and not for the first time let his mind wander and imagine what could have been.

If someone asked him what attracted him to Lee Eunji, he’d ask them if they were sure they had enough time. The list was long, yet could be simplified into a few words. Lee Eunji was Lee Eunji. It really was that simple. When he first saw her debut, he was of course captivated by her beauty just like the rest of the world. But it wasn’t until he got to meet her for the first time that things really started to change. She was more than just her looks - she was a person with her own unique personality. She had a natural cuteness to her, and he couldn’t help himself from turning on his charm and attempting to flirt with her.

Nam Jaejin was no stranger to the art of flirting, it was almost like he couldn’t help himself. Maybe he couldn’t, because logically there was no reason he should have flirted with Eunji…and the moment he did, he didn’t realize it would become his undoing. At first, it was simply intrigue, and perhaps a little bit of competitiveness. She hadn’t fallen for his charms and even would go so far as to completely blow him off, but that only made him want to try harder. It wasn’t long before he realized that he /wanted/ to woo her. And genuinely at that. He stopped flirting with other girls as much, though admittedly not completely, old habits die hard after all.

He started doing everything he could to show her that she was his priority, that she was the one he was genuinely interested in. At some point, he fell in love with her. It was almost comedic when he thought about it now. Some would say that it was karma that one of the few girls he fell for would be one that would reject him. It hurt, more than he wanted it to, but admittedly he hadn’t chosen the best timing for his confession, so it wasn’t all too surprising. Still, he decided that he would respect her rejection, but still stay by her side. After all, it was much better to be able to stay in her life and by her side as a friend than not at all.

But the more time he spent with her, the harder he fell. And it terrified him, because he could see it before she even realized, she had started to develop feelings of her own. Suddenly, things were /real/ and it scared him. He had been in the industry for too long and while most of his relationships had been secret, there was no way they would be able to keep their secret for long if they /did/ decide to date. He was afraid of the consequences and what might happen if their relationship was found out. But it was more for her than for himself, after all he had a much longer career than she did.

Perhaps, that’s the real reason he rejected her. There’s that saying, if you love someone let them go, and if they come back then you know it’s meant to be. As much as he wanted to be selfish, his feelings aside, even as a friend Jaejin cared too much about Eunji to risk her career and everything she had worked so hard for. He moved almost robotically as the plane landed and he made his way to the hotel. He stood under the shower, trying to ride his body and mind of everything that had happened so far. It wasn’t until he got out that he thought about possibly biting the bullet and going to speak to Eunji, perhaps they could finally clear the air and move on.

As he wrapped a towel around his waist, he grabbed another to dry his hair, his many tattoos now on full display. A knock on his room door made him pause, wondering who could be visiting at such an hour. Thinking it was his manager or some hotel staff, he didn’t think before opening the door, only to be face to face with the girl who had been plaguing his thoughts for months. “Eunji…” Her name left him in a shocked whisper, and it was another moment before he realized the condition he was in. “Come in, I don’t want you standing out there, someone could see you.” He stepped aside to let her in as he backed up enough to give her space. “Let me get dressed, make yourself comfortable. There’s water and sparkling water in the mini fridge if you’d like some.”

She was in his room…and he was half . The universe surely loved to play tricks on him it seemed. He cleared his throat and pulled out a comfortable outfit of sweats and a tank top before he slipped into the bathroom to get dressed. He managed to be as quick as he could as to not keep her waiting, but now that he was in front of her again, all the things he wanted to say seemed to slip away at the sight of her. “You look as beautiful as ever Eunji. To what do I owe the pleasure of being graced by your presence this evening?” He mentally winced at the question but stood his ground, patiently awaiting her answer.

@❀ nam jaejin 「ᴄᴀsᴘɪᴀɴ」ˣ.ᶜʰᵃᵒˢ There. She saw him. Nam Jaejin, sitting there inside the airport terminal. Even when she was surrounded by her fans who were sending her off and securities, she could still see him clearly over there although Eunji wasn’t sure if he saw her too or not. Seeing him like that brought a dull throbbing pain in her heart, remembering the incident where he rejected her. Some may say that it was her karma for rejecting him first back when he was still infatuated with her but despite that, he still continued to be one of her pillars of support during a hard time.

The hospital in Jeju island became the witness to that. She was feeling helpless; not knowing what to do and thousands of emotions flooded her being after one of her members fainted on the stage. Pandora was in turmoil, scandals surrounded them, one after another. It was safe to say that it affected her mental health more than she would like to admit. After all, she was still young. She had no one to turn to, to rely on as Bella was busy tending to Sun who needed immediate medical attention. Amidst the chaos that ensued, her fingers dialed his number and she asked him to come over because she needed him.

When he arrived, there were no words that could describe how relieved she was to see Jaejin’s face so she did something that she wouldn’t normally do; hugging him tightly and showing her weakness to him. Eunji was never someone who liked to do something like that. After her sister ran away from home, she learned the hard way to stand up for herself, to never show any weakness to anyone but at that moment, she was glad it was him since she knew he would never turn his back on her and she also finally recognize that she, Lee Eunji, has fallen for a guy named Nam Jaejin.

If one asked, “Then why would you reject him before?”, the answer was because she was afraid. The dating scandals were the main scandals that hit Pandora at that time. As the maknae, she had sworn to never be caught up in one, not wanting to add more burden for their leader and the company. So when he confessed, she had no choice but to reject him, despite the fondness she felt for him.

Back to the present time, Eunji was glad, at least he looked healthy and fine. And also she had about 6 hours more to sort her mind and feeling. It wouldn’t be right if she kept avoiding him. They were going to co-host the festival anyway and people expect them to have a good chemistry with one another, as expected from a labelmate. So she definitely needed to talk to him again but the thought alone brought fear in her. What if he hated her? What if he didn’t want to talk to her? And other millions of what ifs filled her mind, and just like that, the 6 hours flight came to an end.

Finding herself alone in the hotel room, Eunji used the opportunity to call her sister to tell her about the situation. Well, as expected, Eunchae was pretty confused since she hadn’t told her yet about her problem with Caspian. But after Eunchae’s wise advice, she steeled herself. Treating it as a pure business feeling. Right. She is a professional and a pro who never ever mix their personal feeling when they work. With that in mind, she headed to the bathroom to take a quick shower before asking her manager about Caspian’s room number which was just four rooms away from her own.

Staring at his room number, Eunji had second thoughts about confronting him but she knew it had to be done before they went out there into the public eyes, given that they had a day free before the event and she didn’t want people wondering what happened between them if there were any awkwardness in the air. She took a deep breath before tapping the bell’s button beside the door and waited patiently for him to open it. Well, she just hopes that everything will go smoothly.

@❀ lee eunji 「sᴏʀᴀ」ᵖᵃⁿᵈᵒʳᵃ Jaejin let out a small sigh as he settled into his seat on the plane. He saw her, Lee Eunji. She was surrounded by fans, people who adore her, as always. He remembered when he was one of those people. If he was being completely honest with himself, he still was, but he'd never admit that out loud. He knew he would have to face her eventually of course, being in the same company, but he didn't expect it to be so soon. It seemed they would be on different airlines at least, that gave him some relief, knowing he had some more time to prepare himself.

It had stung when she rejected him, some would say it was a much needed punch to the gut he needed. It intrigued him how his usual flirting tactics didn't sway her nor truly work, and that only added to her allure. It wasn't hard to find him with growing feelings, and he found himself wanting to /genuinely/ flirt and see that beautiful smile and adorable blush. He thought he had been doing rather well so when she rejected him it was a bit of a shock. He respected it of course, and despite his usual tendency to cut contact, he couldn't really bring himself to do it.

Then Jeju. Pandøra had been riddled with scandals amidst their comeback and it was a no brainer for him to take a last minute flight to Jeju Island. Why? Because she had needed him. It was on /that/ flight that he realized that there wasn't much he wouldn't do for Eunji. That's who she was to him, it was so strange to think of her as Sora now. So why had he rejected her? The confession he had waited so long to hear...when the time actually came, he said no. The crushed look on her face fueled his dreams even to this day, it was a sight he had /never/ wanted to see on her much less be the cause of. He never stuck around to witness the true aftermath of his actions, he couldn't bear it. Maybe he panicked, but he felt even worse about turning around and saying he was joking.

It was better this way. That's what he told himself. She was still young, despite being an adult, and she was still young in her career as well. He was older and more established, he didn't want to bring her down and ruin the career she had worked so hard for. Yet and still, Lee Eunji managed to intertwine herself into his every thought. And now he was going to see her again.

He had been shocked when he saw her name next to his for the Special MCs for the festival in Bangkok. Surely the universe was playing a cruel trick on him with this. But he couldn't get out of it, having had no other schedules to attend. And they had even told him he'd be doing a special performance on top of it, he felt he couldn't say no. It wasn't long before his flight landed and he made his way to his hotel, ready to settle down for a bit before going to look for something to eat, his mind wandering back to his moments with her the whole time.