✵ film set | 'hydra'

@♣ yoon baek ᵈⁱʳᵉᶜᵗᵒʳ she remembered how the director dealt with stress, how her ex-boyfriend reacted in such encounters and obstacles. the first stage was avoidance— he would retreat; run, distance or simply remove himself from the stressor. if the latter could not be displaced, then the alternative was to put up a blockade— mentally or physically— like the palms of his hands that shielded him from having to meet her gazes. when all prior means failed, then came distraction. she watched as he exchanged back and forth from highlighter and pen, streaking and scribbling his script furiously— so much, that it could uncomfortably be heard by everyone in the vicinity. yihye was surprised the paper didn't bleed or rip through, with all the markings baek was making over his own, written words.

yihye had to remember, unlike herself, baek didn't approach and manage stress head-on like she did. they had been opposites—in harmony, they fulfilled each other's shortcomings, brought the best out within, grew together... with love. in disagreement, they descended into fiery chaos. seeing the toll her eye contact was taking on him, yihye decided that she would adapt, conform to his expressed body language. she would give him time— the distance, space, and isolation he would need, before he could hold her gaze. besides, neither one of them would be able to avoid each other completely, for the entire duration of the production... if there even was going to be one.

baek didn't think she was good enough to play the part. the actress had already suspected that much; his vandalized script papers, the farce in his monotone compliment, the disapproving click of his tongue. she knew, but whether it was honest criticism, yihye couldn't tell. she didn't know if he was truly commenting on her acting, or referring to their past. the actress broke the solidarity, looking right back at the director in question. she remembered— she had forgotten, that when baek couldn't be distracted, the next measure he took to cope, was deflection.

he had thought he hadn't been good enough for her—a thought that had encircled their relationship, the more she sought after her dream. she had loved him, but she had also fell in love with her work. at the time, yihye truly had thought she had given it her all, sacrificing what she could. however, as she continued to look at him in silence, she couldn't help but thinking back, maybe she had been selfish. there could have been an ideal happy ending, in which she could have obtained both; the world of acting, and baek. maybe, he was and had been right; she wasn't and hadn't been good enough.

the tension in the room was thick, making everyone in the room feel uncomfortable. no one dared to speak nor move first. she dropped her gaze first, quickly glancing elsewhere. she had gotten her unspoken answer. yihye hung her head, fighting to keep her composure. the walls that she had thought to been strong enough fell way, breaking. her lips were pressing into a thin line— a physiological telltale sign that she was soon going to burst into tears. closing her eyes, she swallowed her uprising emotions, before returning to face him confidently and cooly. she had to act her way out— this too, was a testament of her skills. their complex history aside, if she could earn his approval for the role, she could endure anything that were to come her way.

"i'm so sorry, director..." she quietly spoke, raising her head slowly. she met his gaze one more time. "i know i can do better." the actress firmly stated, determination blazing in her eyes. "please give me one more chance— please give me some more time. i won't disappoint you." yihye didn't care that she was being made an example in front of everyone else. baek was known to rip his cast apart, if they were underperforming. this would pass off as another one of those moments. the actress could care less of what they felt and thought. yihye just wanted to make restitution, make things right between her and baek.

"i wish to be a part of this project. i need to be— i must play the role of lee byeol. it has to be me. not anyone else." she confirmed, bringing the main female character's name to light, to reality.

@♣ ahn yihye ᵃᶜᵗᵒʳ Yihye apologized and looked straight at Baek, who was trying to hide from her. Despite avoiding eye contact, Yihye continued to look at him and even smiled as she addressed him directly. "Don't look at me," was all he could think as her gaze bore a hole through the hands that cloaked his eyes. The situation was as embarassing as it was even sans the awkward situation his production team put him through after reject her over and over again. Ugh, those idiots couldn't read the room! He focused his anger on them, glaring them down before he looked at her script, which looked like it had already been well studied, painted in the colorful sticky notes she used when they were just students. It brought a bittersweet smile to his lips, and with the subject of the script, he couldn't help but be pulled back to old times. Baek could never win against her, could he? Ugh.

Baek had daydreamed about this moment for the better part of the decade and he came to two conclusions on how it'd turn out: either he'd go berserk and have a complete total meltdown or he would absolutely fold to Yihye's word and revert to the teenager he was when he first fell in love with her. He knew there was no in-between and that's why he had been dreading this inevitable meeting for years. No matter what the outcome, there was no way he could promise to be professional in her presence. He couldn't help but feel himself regress into the person his teenage self around her, the whole table might as well address him casually as Andy right now instead of his distinguished title of Director Yoon.

He was flabbergasted at the way she was able to keep her cool reuniting after all these years, but that was just how she always was: calm and collected as ever. - it really took him back, Baek was always a hot emotional mess and Yihye had always balanced him out with her cool. She grounded him in reality, and when she left, it was as if she took the ground with her, leaving Baek to aimlessly drift since. As Baek broke down silently with anxiety at the table read, eventually Yihye's presence had cooled him down and he regained his breath, eventually sitting up straight in his seat and finding himself doing his job professionally. She really had him wrapped around her finger even after all these years.

It was embarrassing, frankly. Even as he was able to put his director cap back on, hearing Yihye recite a dramatized play by play of their relationship grated his ears. Partly because it was exactly as he remembered and partly because it was nothing as he remembered. Baek was chewing on his lip as he held himself back at the table read, furiously taking scathing notes on Yihye's performance more than he had for the other roles. It was an important role, the actress needed to nail it down, or so he told himself, but it was obvious to the production team already just how unfairly marked her parts were compared to everyone else. They collectively looked at each other and sighed. They /did/ bring her into this projection against his will, they should be glad he didn't immediately storm out and blow a fuse.

As Baek sank further into his role as director, he ceased to avoid Yihye's glances and instead glared back at her unsatisfactory performance, even so far as clicking his tongue audibly as he became more comfortable in this persona. It was good for him, but perhaps not so good for Yihye as Director Yoon had a lot to say. As the cast finished the initial table read, Baek's script was noticibly covered in highlights and scribbles for some parts more than others. The room was silent as Baek's disgruntled groan filled the room as he flipped the script aggressively back to the first page. "Good job, everyone," He commended politely with a dry delivery that was nothing but formal, then continued to say what was really on his mind, "I think there are some things we can improve on, but more than that... Ahn Yihye-ssi?" He gave Yihye a menacing glare as he called her out in front of the entire table, "I expected more out of you when I heard you were cast, even if this is just the initial table read, I was deeply disappointed by your delivery today. Are you sure you want to be part of this project if you're unable to meet our expectations?"

@♣ yoon baek ᵈⁱʳᵉᶜᵗᵒʳ "i'm so sorry, i apologize!" yihye repeated after her manager. facing the other half of staff members on the other side of the room, the actress gave another bow of atonement, before straightening up and looking around— eyes landing right on the director and past ex-boyfriend himself; yoon baek. the latter had his forehead leaning against his clasped hands as if he were trying to dull an oncoming headache in a distressful situation, or— he was trying to avoid someone. despite his sight fixated on somewhere else, yihye continued to look right at him.

she gave a soft smile. it was nice to see him in person, even after so many years. even after, how they had split— parted ways. "this won't become a habit, director-nim. i promise." yihye stated, before heading off to find her seat. she walked over to the vacant chair, a paper placard with her name presented on the far edge of the table. as she pulled out the chair and sat down, she then turned to her fellow co-stars, greeting them warmly. shuffling her chair closer to the table, she reached into her tote bag, pulling out her script book and pen. already, sticky notes were jutting out in various places, yihye having studied and analyzed certain scenes of the script. such scenes were marked, as they were the ones that the actress determined she would have the most trouble filming.

with everyone settled in, the script reading began. yihye focused on the script, listening to her fellow actors and actresses carefully, processing in her mind how to deliver her upcoming lines. this project, like every piece of work she took on, was of importance to her. she was determined to do it justice. some dialogues were new, some of it was old; stated word-for-word or paraphrased in their past. flashes of memories played throughout her mind, the typed words coming alive from the page.

when it wasn't her turn to speak, she glanced at baek, trying to read his expressions. yihye wondered how he felt, what his thoughts entailed. the love they had shared had shaped her, yes, but it had also driven them apart, leading to many unspoken misunderstandings and heartache. he was her first serious relationship, having dated him since when she had been in high school, back when she had no grounds to her name as an actress. back when baek hadn't seriously considered becoming a notable film director in the korean entertainment industry.

the moment the script had been presented before her, the actress had known better than to consider it. she had seen his name printed as the main author, right on the cover— it hadn't been hard to miss. yet, she hadn't rejected the project. out of curiosity, she had read it— from start to finish. it had been her second chance; she could have avoided him. but she didn't want to. they were both different people now, no longer the young couple who had shared dreams. they had moved on, but the shadow of their past felt unresolved to her, even after all these years. the script read conflicted; longing with pain, anger and resentment.

yihye had wanted to reach out to him. simply reject the offer from the production team, but to privately message baek— out of a mix of concern and guilt. she felt responsible. their history, his silent suffering... the feelings he still carried, all echoing the same narrative— that she had never given him a proper closure. as she continued to steal glances at him, she couldn't help but question herself; whether it was right to confront the faded chapters of their relationship.

@♣ ahn yihye ᵃᶜᵗᵒʳ "Ahn Yihye," The casting director answered over the phone, "She fits the role, her auditions wer-"

Baek grimaced. The sound of him air through his teeth interrupted the casting director before they could finish their sentence. "How many times do I have to tell you?" He asked as he grit his teeth, the anger winding from his gut as he very firmly enunciated his next words to ensure he wouldn't be misunderstood again, "Anybody BUT Ahn Yihye. I don't care how many auditions we have to get through, she doesn't make the cut."

Production couldn't understand what the issue was with Yoon Baek and, frankly, they were running out of patience. They had a completed script. A clear vision. The storyboards were complete. Practically every important role had been cast in the movie, except for the female lead, and here they had the perfect actress for the job and the director throws a ing tantrum. They had gone through multiple rounds of auditions and there was no one in the industry that was available who could do the job like Ahn Yihye and her team had been actively reaching out to production to see if there was anything they could do to be part of the project. Yoon Baek may have rejected the idea of casting her every single time, but production was at a tug of war between the two forces of Yoon Baek's stubborn artistry and Ahn Yihye's management.

Today, it seemed as if Ahn Yihye's management team had won as production tried to sneak her casting past Yoon Baek, hoping that he would come around on the subject if they casually slipped it in passing. But, no, this was something he was absolutely firm on. "Do you think I'm ing stupid?" Baek bellowed into his phone, "Open the auditions again. We're casting anybody EXCEPT Ahn Yihye, do you understand!?" Before the casting director could answer, Baek interrupted their meager words and growled, "No, I need you to say OUT LOUD that we are NOT casting Ahn Yihye." But before he finished his sentence, the casting director had gotten fed up with Baek's bull and hung up.

--

"ing great..." Baek muttered under his breath as he glared at his production team, who were carefully averting their eyes knowing that they united to front against his wishes. Production just couldn't wait any longer to cast the female lead with their current time table and Baek, himself, knew that they didn't have any other options at this stage and was forced to work under these conditions or else there wouldn't be a project to work on. Every muscle in his body tensed. He had no control over the expression of his emotions. He clenched his teeth, furrowed his brows, and slammed his hands down on the table as everyone gathered for the first time for a table read. Baek furiously flipped through his pages. He knew the script and storyboard front to back, he didn't need to review it, he needed to do anything he could to keep himself from screaming his head off at his team and them himself. There was nobody in this situation he was more angry at than himself.

Ahn Yihye, anybody but Ahn Yihye would have been fine, but of course it had to be her because when the idea of the movie was conceived, the female lead was created in her image. There was nobody in the world who could play this role BUT Ahn Yihye. Baek buried his face in his hands, letting his fingers slide through his hair as he sat there lost in thought as they awaited for her arrival. He could feel his heart tighten and ache at the thought of seeing her again. He didn't think it would hurt him this physically to see her again, but the body was a mystery. He closed his eyes and said a prayer to any god that would listen, "Please, could she just not show up today?" But if there were a god listening, there was a slim chance they wouldn't use this opportunity to punish him.

The door opened to an unfamiliar face. "Apologies for arriving late, we had some issues with parking," the stranger said as they ushered in the person behind them.

Her long hair had obscured her face as she gave the room a bow, but he could recognize her voice as she introduced herself. It was Ahn Yihye, Yoon Baek's first love, his muse, and the reason why he's the person he is today. He could feel his heart shrivel up and dust into a million pieces as he clasped his hands tight together, his fingers digging into his skin as his body tensed and shook with anxiety. Breathing had never felt so difficult. Baek had remained hidden behind his hands, looking as if he were in the midst of prayer or a headache, trying not to acknowledge her entrance into the room as he cursed to himself silently thinking, "ing , , what the ? I hate this -" He let out a heavy exasperated breath, hoping that magically he'd disappear in this moment and she'd never know that he was here.