✈　❛ lavender fields

@❛ yein jung。 in utter exhaustion does youngho snatch up the fifth letter from his lover off the backside of the bench before taking a seat, exhaling hot and humid breaths amidst the cool midnight breeze. he’s been running across town all evening on this little hunt that he otherwise would have never even spent a single second of his time. however, this challenge was rather endearing coming from the one lovely little poet of his of whom he’d missed. her absence in the past few weeks was deeply felt in the pits of his stomach. without jung yein, he was empty. a hellish void chewing away at innermost dreams of even the most fleeting soft sensation. after dark hazelnut eyes glaze over the words on her note he finally takes his leave, notes stuffed into a crossbody bag while either hand strongly clutches at the wild collective of beautiful blooms.

⎡ ᴊᴜɴɢ ʏᴇɪɴ's sᴄᴀᴠᴇɴɢᴇʀ ʜᴜɴᴛ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘ.ɪ. | ᴍᴏᴠᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ 5/10, "ᴍᴏᴅᴇʀᴀᴛᴏ." ⎦— lavender field

a deviation from a set of points that makes up my dimension. a budding plethora of sentiments rushes forth—bleak, glacial shards of epiphany that scar the mind, leave that canvas blank. all that covers the seraphic stretch of a sky are thin flecks of enthralling luster, illuminated forth in orbs of dark bistre. bitter hope? or soul-crushing agony? the girl can’t differentiate the suffocating emotions within her chest.

to proceed, head on over to: where stamens, pistels, petals, and sepals prosper.

+ the letter is handwritten and taped against the backrest of a bench residing upon the walkway that leads to the lavender field, a stem of xeranthemum annuum taped to the backside.

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[] angst u w u

[] bc your life decision is to hurt and/or end that life smh

[] WHY ARE YOU JUDGING MY LIFE DECISIONS

[] can you not smh this

[] trigger warning: suicidal contemplation and self-harm.

it resonates within her soul with a sonorous timbre—the shards of her meek soul splinter into a million lustrous fragments, like iridescent stars blotched across the inked canvas of the obsidian night sky. the fine aestheticism of the breathtaking sky is all at once, empyrean, picturesque, and divine; it’s almost beguiling, stifling. the picture-perfect canvas becomes inebriating and brings pain to the girl’s chest. kenturaus, hercules, arcturus, cassiopeia, antares, m-23, spica… effervescent diamonds in the world up above bewitch the crestfallen girl and thus her monochrome life is bespeckled with a gradient of effulgent hues, though only for a short-lived moment. sullen eyes that spoke of sleepless nights have become debilitated in that crying becomes arduous. lithe digits that itched to harm her own body shiver in their wake, and she can not even fathom what intoxicating delectation she may receive from scarring that canvas of pale skin, imprinting it with the edge of a blade that draws droplets of warm crimson; she’d seep with life despite feeling so hollow—how hilarious and ironic. she further ponders the invigorating concept of thin fingers tight around as her lungs collapse and beseech the deliverance of carbon dioxide—the way her face would heat up at that all too stimulating gratification as her life shatters and exudes from a grievous world, like the bitter notes of a largo in which footsteps against wintry concrete reverberate like cream, ivory piano keys in a concert hall with ravenous audience members that deliver standing ovation and implore an encore.

a potent sigh elicits past plush, rose-stained tiers at the comprehension that this is no stage. there are no sultry stage lights to flare within yein’s chocolate irises, nor are there those scintillating velvet curtains of carmine that call the little starlet to the stage to put forth an amusing act. there is no stage director, no musicians, actors, actresses, stage crew—even the lovely audience has dissipated. and while the detrimental specks of her heart struggle to materialize, the girl is left to tend to her own feverish sentiments and heartrending notions of just exactly how the lone wolf of an artist by the name of jung yein had managed to walk down formidable and unscrupulous paths, parting like ochre limbs of a sapling yet to live out a journey of vivacious, budding flowers and earthy leaves. oh how the unaccompanied musician carries out her one-sided duet, a sonata really, mellifluous in its essence and yet the doubt that at first unnoticeably tinges the beauty soon becomes malformed and inundates a realm of opaline phosphorescence. black, obsidian, charcoal, noir—tainted and vitiated conceptualizations rip the girl’s fragile paper wings at the seams and thus cruelly decimates all chances of desired vindication. it’s harrowingly adverse and the prelude to her demeanor disintegrates, little by little, poco a poco.

she doesn’t feel like herself—she never does. it’s haunting, appalling, and she feels ill, capitulating to the entanglement of paranoia that mercilessly gnaws at her eroding outer shell and tosses her under aquamarine and jade waves of non compos mentis inanition. a wavering dilemma perches at the tip of a saccharine tongue as her tormented mind waltzes through an ambivalent trance to the lulling 1-2-3 of zealous strings dripping with tender tones. she can’t take it—she’s going to break, implode. it’s dizzying, overwhelming; her vertigo takes away her breath and all nebulous thought processes in a dark labyrinth of dusky swirls threatening to swallow her whole are halted until—

that blade ripples across the portrait of her wrist in one swift, adept motion. there’s a gush, a spray of vermillion that paints her cherubic cheeks with droplets of cerise. ineffable adrenaline that pulses through her veins delays the girl’s reaction, unable to register the agony no one else but herself had caused. it’s tormenting, and yet a chill of exhilaration and thrill runs up her spine as orbs stained with dark coffee gaze across the fine artistry that brings suffering like nothing and no one else. digits of the afflicted arm tremble in discomfort, and before yein can even fully react, another mark is made—another endearing line of evocative ruby. clear elation interweaved with misery is etched across the hysterical damsel’s visage, and as a neurotic chuckle slips past precious, lipstick-stained tiers, the girl finds the weight of the grim world falling and crushing her yet all over again. she wants to laugh, cry, curse it all—curse the very genesis of her existence that seems to soil the entirety of the world and those around her.

foolish. imprudent. her loathing for herself emblazons a demure desire to live—it withers and decays like morose petals of resplendent flowers. ah, those transcendent lavender stems—how they have been blemished with splatters of blood, simply decorated like striking accessories. could that tantalizing sky assuage her soul even now? would those hues of mauve and turquoise like lapis lazuli relieve her now that she can never take a step back? could she further embellish that worthless skin, scorch it until there’d be no more, brand it until stifling and oppressive pain becomes masochistic numbness one can only surrender to in stifling pleasure?

…if only she could answer such asphyxiating questions. were concepts like self-love or love and friendship in general existing within her vacuous self relevant at all? for her, there is no solution. only a blurring vision as the world fades to black and tucks her into a treacly dreamland she yearns to lock herself away in for an eternity. how could she even dare to chase dreams that always only fractured and splintered on her? if only she could disappear.

@❛ youngho seo。 effervescent tinges of mauve blotch fond doe eyes glued to the empyrean blanket of a sky up above, a dreamy sigh prompted from past plush lips that can only twinkle ever so feverishly. she's deeply drawn in to those alluring magenta fields, assuaging all worries, causing her to blank out for a short moment before she barely manages to zero in on the picturesque reality before her - it fills her heart with an ineffable amount of lightheartedness and tenderness she swears she would not mind experiencing for the entirety of her life. with a gentle grasp on the hand in her own, she tugs ever so lightly in taking a seat upon that jacket, making space so that her lover can sit beside her, rather than upon the grass that could blemish clothing. lithe digits intertwine within their handhold so that yein can run the padding of her thumb along the male's knuckles, eliciting a small hum at the question.
mhm. i'm studying mortuary science and biological science - i haven't been too sure as to what i want to focus on, though i really enjoy the two subjects. i nearly forgot that i didn't tell you i was in university - you seemed shocked the last time i briefly mentioned it. the girl releases a warm chuckle as she broods over just how little the two truly know one other despite all the years they were acquainted - she can only think of how much more time they might hold in getting to better know one another, and the mere thought brings a rosy hue to her cheeks.

@❛ yein jung。 hand in hand together does the odd couple make their way from all the bustle and noise downtown, approaching their newfound little haven of lavender blooms and fuschia skylines amidst ceaseless fields that seemed to stretch out as far as the ocean could. once finding the perfect spot to settle down and watch the sunset youngho shrugs his jacket off, laying it down to act as a blanket for yein so her clothes would be protected from all that fresh dewy grass.
looks like we got the best seats in the house for the show! the fellow resident beams earnestly and plops down beside his companion, long legs sprawling out to stretch from the exhausting journey. a sigh of content slips past rosy tiers as he then leans back to lounge a bit, supporting the weight on his elbows and shoots yein an inquisitive look.
hey.. you said you’re a student, right? what are you studying again?

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blemishes of lilac and magenta stain her view as cool air brushes against her skin, upturning even the slightest of her curled, dusky tendrils, threatening to obstruct her loving gaze upon that endless stretch of lavender. pure, silent, devoted, cautious, serene, graceful, calm—the language of flowers engraves her mind and the lonesome girl can't help but feel that she is anything but those adjectives which described the exquisite beds of flowers before herself. crouching down to a bed of lively flowers, she gently plucks at a stem of the bush emanating with a natural, delightful aroma, vividly recalling how other tenants spoke of the sketches made by their usually quiet tenant, sehun, creating portraits of the deceased individuals before placing stems of lavender alongside those cream pages. for sure, she'd like to live on inside the pages of a book that aren't simply pages of an unfortunate press release or police report. fragments of light spread across her mind for a moment, assuaging the weighty tension on her shoulders and in her chest. momentarily, she finds it hard to breathe, though she wills herself not to cry, just as she had been taught as a child. garbled emotions were feeble. and so she balls up that sentimentality into her tiny fists and discards them. but...she discards them how so? like how the killers had disposed of their evidence? how they had discarded her beloved? her happy life? ...that self-deprecation grows little by little and she finds herself laying alongside those flower beds with muddy thoughts in her head, morose irises fixating themselves across the blotchy sky that seemed to alleviate her pain for a short moment. /it'll take time, jung yein. healing takes time,/ she mentally whispers to herself, homemade words of comfort diminishing her worries for a split second before tears inundate her visage that had been met with such a cruel fate all-too many times already. a delicate hand brushes away bitter tears while the other is outstretched before her in reaching for that sky her misanthropic self yearned to be set free within.

@❛ jungkook jeon。 his words cause the otherwise still butterflies in her stomach to flutter, her steady heartbeat fluctuating in its pacing. her cheeks become rosy in tincture, and tonight, she’s thankful that the limited exposure to light hides the change in hue. but her elation is visible, toothy in her grin, and with her free hand, she’s pulling her seatbelt looser so that she could lean over and press two kisses upon his cheek.
you’re so cute. you act as if we aren’t with each other almost every night.

@❛ soojin seo。 the feeling of her playing with his fingers has him immersed in the sweetness of it all, his eyes fixed on the road but mind running a mile a minute out of giddy pleasure. he finds it increasingly difficult to shift his eyes away from her, and so he presses a tad further against the gas pedal to hurry to their destination.
can't wait to be with you all night.

@❛ jungkook jeon。 her smile grows in excitement at his words, clapping her hands together in pure joy as she’s turning in her seat sideways to face him completely. with her shoulder resting against the backrest, she’s fixating on him, while her fingers idly play with the hand laced with hers.
i’m looking forward to it.

@❛ soojin seo。 at her words he laughs into the space of the car, muted but still expressing his joy. he glances over occasionally, watching as the dim orange luminescence of passing lights spread over her cheeks in short bursts.
i thought we were too. well, i have plans for after our little stargazing fest. that is, if you're not too tired by then.

@❛ jungkook jeon。 i definitely think it was.
she stares at their intertwined hands, the simper that stretches upon her tiers indicating her utter satisfaction. she brings her eyes up to gaze at him, the street lights illuminating his face in passing.
handsome. but i like the idea. i'm not going to lie, though—i initially thought we were going to do something crazier. this one's more...calming. i like it. and yes, please.

@❛ soojin seo。 dunno, just wanted to try kissing you in my car and i guess it was worth it.
with a grin, he intertwines their hands to settle on her leg before shifting gears to pull out of the parking spot.
i was planning on taking you to the lavender fields, set up a blanket and lay there for a while, maybe. if you want we can get snacks on the way?

@❛ jungkook jeon。 as she buckles in her seatbelt, she watches him as he moves from one side of his car to the other, an overjoyed smile infecting a fatigued visage, which only brightens at the kiss he plants on her cheek.
what was stopping you before?

@❛ soojin seo。 once she's tucked into the safety of the car, he shuts the door and moves over to the driver's side where he climbs in, pulling his seat belt over before leaning in to kiss her cheek.
been wanting to do that all night.

@❛ jungkook jeon。 thank you, my prince. her laugh echoes in the emptiness of the parking lot, and she's leaning over to plant a kiss on his cheek before ducking into the passenger's seat.

@❛ soojin seo。 keeps one of the doors open for soojin to step into the cabin of the car, chin resting on his arm as he grins at her stupidly. your carriage, princess.

@❛ sooji bae。 “yup, it’s a classical piece. jupiter is the most well-known piece from that series—despite not knowing it by name, i’m sure you’ve heard the chorus before.” she breaks out into a small hum of the chorus, her features lit up in joy. “yes, i’m a writer and artist. i’m still in school, studying biological science and mortuary science, though i hold a deep love and passion for music. what about you, sooji?”
“oh my gosh... i-i didn’t think he was /that/ bad. he’s clearly not alright—has anyone tried talking to him? he must be thinking about a lot to be forcing all that on himself...” and all at once, a sympathetic look glows on her pale visage, being able to understand that overwhelming heartbreak and the desire to rid the heart of its pitch-black stains. she couldn’t help but ache at the thought of just what her friend was going through, though he seemed to wear a forced happy-go-lucky smile every day. was it all just a facade?
“yeah, just a playful three-way. we all agreed to it and are hoping to get to know one another better no matter the outcome, so i’m not too concerned. i guess it’s caught everyone’s eye, huh?” she can’t help but stifle a giddy laughter, moreso due to sooji’s words concerning her current relationship with youngho. “really? i swear we’re always so mean to each other, in a teasing way, though we always make it up to one another at the end of the day. plus he seriously makes my heart skip a beat sometimes... are you interested in anyone right now, sooji? if not, we can talk about your ideal type of you’re okay with it!”

@❛ sooji bae。 “mars, the bringer of war... reminds me of gustav holst’s ‘the planets.’ ever heard of it?” the thought of music trickles into her thought process, and she can’t help but smile. “for sure. taemin is a bit more modest and i’m sure naeun won’t hold back on him. i haven’t seen chanyeol get that out of hand but, gosh—what were they thinking? i didn’t want to spazz out on taemin through text but...i didn’t want them to hurt themselves, you know? ugh, i’ll try to stop thinking about it too. at least taemin has the guts to apologize.” the look of worry on her face is replaced with a soft, gentle look as she gazes upon the next module with a pair of loving, hazel eyes. she’s ready to comment on the beauty of mother earth before her partner’s words take her by surprise, causing her cheeks to heat up in a pink hue. “oh—i, uhm...” it takes her a moment to reply, scoffing a bit. “i don’t really know, either. the three of us are just going with the flow with one another but i...” she leans close to whisper into the other girl’s ear, “i think i really like seo youngho. don’t tell anyone, okay?” she pulls back with a sheepish grin on her face.

@❛ sooji bae。 yein gives the room’s many displays a good glance before focusing on the set before the pair, a soft chuckle escaping her roseate tiers at the mention of the two males she had been spending time with lately. “oh, those two are a lot more modest than chanyeol and taemin—i mean, /a lot./ but geez, some men are so childish sometimes. you shouldn’t let it get to you, sooji.” by simply looking at the girl’s face, yein could tell she was irritated, as if her blood was boiling within—she wished she could ease that discomfort on the features of her visage. hopefully this trip would do it.

@❛ jungkook jeon。 Lucky is perhaps the word best fitting for what her life had been for the past week or so. Even until now, she couldn’t quite comprehend how eventful these few days have become in comparison to the rest of her senior year. Riddled with event after event, a prepared schedule that each person of her grade would follow to celebrate the concluding year of their high school career. The girl had gone to amusement parks, attended festivals, and had free breakfast several times, and yet, somehow, she is convinced that all pale in comparison to this. Perhaps it is his natural charm, or lack thereof, that pulls her to him, a magnetic field far too strong and rendering her helpless in his tow. Perhaps it is his eyes, those obsidian gemstones that entrances her in its enigmatic beauty. Or the way that he holds her, as if she were the most fragile piece of glass, his touches delicate and considerate for her, who has admittedly, within this short time, has become smitten with him. The background, although vivid and stunning in its hues of viridian and amethyst, is simply that: a background for the center of this painting. And my, what an enchanting center he is. "Ready." She holds out her right hand, her eyes pouring with exaltation, gaze fixated on his seraphic visage in almost every single photo taken in that moment.

@❛ soojin seo。 The fields of violet should have been what caught his eye, what made him stop and stare to appreciate its beauty. The fields should have been what he was struck by, with how they bloomed in such mass quantities and bowing for the light breeze in the air, the one that smells so sugary and pleasant to his senses. But what captures his eye the most is Soojin, standing here in her dress that sparkles dully in comparison to the way she does, standing here with her pretty eyes that he feels he could get lost in for days and days. He's almost completely winded by just how stunning she is, but he somehow manages to regain his sanity and Jungkook is putting a hand on her waist, gentle and caring as he pulls her forward just to lessen their proximity, admittedly so he could hold her to him. "Okay." Jungkook just smiles, as it's all he can do in light of her beauty, the kind that's rendering him completely useless. His heart feels like mush. Jungkook pulls the corsage out of the box, gesturing for his photographer friend to start taking the pictures. He takes a moment to breathe, holding the corsage out carefully so not to disturb the intricately placed flowers. "Ready?"

@❛ jungkook jeon。 A fairytale. With her as Cinderella: a young girl who had wished upon a star in hopes that she would go to a ball to dance in a gown. At this moment, she wonders if she truly does have a fairy godmother watching over her, because, within a short span of time, she had perhaps every little thing that every little girl could dream of. And she has been nothing but grateful. Utterly and completely grateful for the gifts she received from her unknown guardian, because here she was, standing in the arms of a Prince—her Prince—who would magically whisk her away to a night that she would hold near and dear to her heart. Soojin is absolutely perplexed by the chances, and surely enough, she has wished upon a shooting star at some point. Because never in a million years did she expect a day as perfect as today. And it wouldn't have been without him. "Wherever." Her voice was soft as ever, but the tinge of sureness in her voice is revealing of how comfortable she feels around him. Her gaze returns to his chocolate pair, the ruby smile radiating of pure joy. "We can take pictures anywhere, really. I'm sure they'll turn out good."

@❛ soojin seo。 If Jungkook could mentally snap pictures to keep them tucked away in a box of memories until the end of time, he's sure that it'd be filled to the brim already. From the moment their paths intertwined to now, he can't think of a single instance where he hasn't been completely enthralled by her. She's a whirlwind of beauty, and yet her presence is so calming that he wonders if in the future, she'll clash with him. Jungkook takes her hands into his, not quite wanting to let go yet. If he could stay here, sheltered from the grievances of the world right in this moment, he's sure he'd be happy for the rest of his days. "Do you want to take them here?" His voice is uncharacteristically soft, not like his usual booming timbre where he's vulgar and throwing playful insults to his friends. Instead, it's velvety and almost dazed, definitely entranced.