─ seoul arts center

@◈ jessica jung⁻ᴾᴿ ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ Tw// substance addiction

He mostly tried to glance around and avoid any eyes as he shared, but he did end up unconsciously looking back at Jessica, receiving a small smile from her at the end. Sharing something like this was not entirely comfortable and made him a little anxious for a reaction. He was sure his presence here might be of help in reminding him why he wanted to stay clean, but the part of talking about it out loud never did much other than have him feel shame.

As soon as he is done another surname is called and his eyes shortly direct to the other woman who speaks up before moving back to his coworker to analyze her expression, though he doesn't linger for long as the last few people share their own experiences and struggles. Before he knows it the session has come to a close. He is shortly approached by the woman who lead the session who thanks him for joining and reassures him that he'll be welcome again. He offers a smile and politely tries to end the interaction. He's never been one to linger much after these, but today he wanted to approach Jessica before she left.

His eyes search for her swiftly, hoping she hadn't immediately left, and he quickly notices that she is slow to get up. While a lot of the others are quick to gather up to talk, she is still by herself, which he is thankful for as he approaches. He considers the possibility that she might not want to discuss it, but even if she were to simply tell him not to mention it and not pry further it was probably best they did talk. He is slightly appeased though at her positive reaction once they do meet and he lets out a quiet chuckle. "Took the words right out of my mouth" he responds, offering a small nod at her question in confirmation. "Junhee. I don't think there's a need to confirm your name" He lets out in the same more positive tone. The girl had been pretty popular a few years ago, and even now she had released her solo not too long. He knew well who she was. "Hopefully this isn't as awkward as it initially felt, but if you don't wanna talk, that's cool. Not gonna bring it up outside or anything, obviously" Jun reassures making sure to translate his honesty into his tone. "But if you want, I thought it'd be cool to talk after that, if you wanna go somewhere else?"

@◈ park junhee⁻ᵖʳᵒᵈᵘᶜᵉʳ tw: addiction

jessica doesn’t know what she was expecting from her colleague but she was surprised by junhee willingly volunteering. he had been more brave than she had, she would’ve never offered her hand but it eases her , in a way. she gives the producer her full undivided attention, eyes pinched together a bit sympathetic but also in understanding. so he had been an addict for a minute if her math is mathing correctly. she knew a bit about his history but mostly through the grape vine.
when his eyes find hers once more, she offers a hint of a smile.

the rest of the session goes by in a blur , almost as though it was an out of body experience and jessica was just going through the motions. this was supposed to help but jessica is unsure whether or not she should’ve came. this hardly relieved any of her pent up stress.

‘And that will be it for today, just remember what I told you; self reflection also comes with forgiveness. you can grab a pamphlet and spread the word to your friends that may be struggling too! see you all- or some of you- next session!’

the sound of sounds scooting echo through the small room as everyone gathers their things to leave. some linger, staying back to talk to one another. jessica was slow to getting up, throwing a glance towards junhee in contemplation. was this even the appropriate place for them to chit chat? should she say anything at all?
the questions that were gnawing her already stimulated brain come to a halt when she sees the male shuffling in her direction, she meets him halfway.
“Hi,” she says quickly, expression lighting up, “i would say fancy seeing you here , but i don’t think it’s the ideal place for either of us to have met. junhee right?”

@◈ jessica jung⁻ᴾᴿ ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ Tw// substance addiction

Junhee glances up a little at the 'more the merrier' as certainly this was no situation for such enthusiasm. Then again, the more here also meant more people actively looking for help, so maybe she wasn't so far off. As the woman continues to lead the session, he feels himself ease into it a little better despite the obvious nervousness, she's quite good at getting them somewhat comfortable under the circumstances and reassuring them.

Some people were quite ready to talk and be open, which allowed him some time to think through what he'd want to say and what he was willing to share. It'd always been a tough time. He'd performed for small shows and big shows, even festivals, amd his confidence had always been a big part of his persona, but this felt different, personal. Everytime he came to one of these sessions he had to re-teach himself that talking about it was needed, it was part of the process and and not just for the sake of exposing his private issues.

Jessica also gets called and he can see the slight uneasiness in her expression as well as her body language once his eyes lower to her shifting hands. He tries not to stare too hard, not meaning to pressure her, she was as nervous as he was, but just hearing her share her own experience reassures him a little and her honesty entices him. Despite the very different circumstances, they were both in similar situations.

Her eyes did glance towards him for a brief moment and he tried to offer a comforting nod as she is offered some supportive words from the others. He wasn't sure if it translated well but he knew how hard it must've been for the girl to share. Especially in front of someone she worked with but wasn't exactly close to. His presence must've put her in a slightly tougher spot than needed, and yet, he felt a little more confident after listening to her, so he hesitantly raised his hand to follow.

"I can go next" He offers quietly, glancing towards the leading woman who gestures for him to go on. "I'm Junhee... and I'm also an addict" He repeats, as they'd been advised to do. A way to recgonize and acknowledge the issue. He clears his throat a little, trying to reassure himself enough before continuing. "I've been clean for a little over three years now...I'm not sure why I decided to join today but, I guess I've just been reminiscing a lot about the past lately and the cravings get a little worse so I needed to ground myself a little" He confesses with a small dismissive shrug of his shoulders trying to avoid too much eye contact. "This is my first session in Korea... Actually, this is my first session in a while. I don't know if, or when, I'll be joining back. But I'm glad I decided to come" He decides not to go too deep into it, allowing his eyes to search Jessica's expression only at the end, finding nothing but the same he was sure she could find in his own. He felt a little lighter and a little better than he had when their eyes had first crossed. Maybe it wouldn't feel as awkward now if he decided to approach her at the end. Which was what he intended to do.

@◈ park junhee⁻ᵖʳᵒᵈᵘᶜᵉʳ TW: addiction

“Oh perfect! Please have a seat, how wonderful. More the merrier I always say. Now since we have two new comers today how about we share a little bit about ourselves to break the ice?” the headchair smiles warmly, eyes inviting and no judgement behind them just kindness as she coax them into easing out of their discomfort of new faces.

to jessica this was always the hardest part , to admit to herself that she was and will always be an addict something she had always tried to bury in her past. no one truly knew… no one except those who deserved to know and now, well, junhee from work.
their eyes meet a couple of time during the rounds of introductions and ice breakers. drug addicts and alcoholics one would say they’re all the same but it’d never that black and white, they have their own stories and reasons for choosing this path. jessica wondered what his was.

“Ms. jung? Ms. jung! Your turn, only tell with what you’re comfortable with of course, but the hardest part is making it in here. You’ve already done half the work.”

her fingers twists uncomfortably in her lap , all eyes on her. usually it would be no problem to speak in front of thousands let alone a group of ten people. she’d put on her best brave face and speak without hesitation. but this? She felt that she was screaming the darkest parts of her life into a megaphone for a million people to hear.

“yes, yes sorry. I’m sorry. Uhm, i’m jessica and i’m,” a pause, then an exhale, her eyes flitter around the room until they land on junhee, someone who she would say hello to at work and call it a day; would he think of her differently? would he tell? he can’t legally, but what does that matter. his eyes were imploring into hers and not one shred of judgement to be found behind them.

“I’m jessica and i’m an addict,” she found the courage to continue, “i am currently seven years sober and coming up on my eighth anniversary of sobriety. uhmm.. I guess why I am here today is to remind myself where it started, recovery I mean. Here lately things have been… not so bright, kinda dim . Usually the stretch from January to march is the worst parts of the year and I’ve been craving to taste alcohol on my tongue, to drink every bad feeling away. And that’s why i’m here, to ground myself and bring myself back together so i dont fall apart again. Thank you.”

“Thank you for sharing , Jessica. It takes so much strength to admit that you need to come back even after completing your recovery.”
as comforting as the words may be , it felt gut wrenching. like she had taken ten steps back.
“Would anyone else like to go?”

@◈ jessica jung⁻ᴾᴿ ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ tw// addiction and SA

Junhee had easily talked himself out of these meetings long enough for multiple reasons, namely, he didn't want to stir past waters, but especially due to the fact that he hadn't been to a help group in Korea and the first meeting was always terribly awkward. Even if it wasn't his first meeting of the sort, he didn't know anyone in this group, and so he'd been postponing. Still, by now he knew when it was time to give in and force himself into it, but that didn't stop him from sitting in the driver's seat of his car, wondering whether he should back out or not, for long enough to be just barely late to the meeting, making his entrance all the more awkward for himself. Offering a small smile to the woman who'd lead him in, he immediately feels multiple sets of eyes directed at him, which he swiftly attempts to avoid by aiming his attention at the woman who resumes speaking. Both he and the shorter lady are prompted to briefly present themselves, to which he simply offers his name, interrupted by a moment of realization. Just as he does, he lifts his eyes again to shortly graze the group and he finally spots the familiar face of none other than DSF's PR manager, Jessica. His brows furrow a little in surprise and her gaze is locked on him too in a short moment of silence, after which they are urged to pick a seat around the circle. He ends up taking a seat a couple of chairs down from the girl, unsure whether a familiar face at a place like is even a good thing. A coworker no less. Surely it would make for great small talk over their lunch breaks at the staff room. He pushes the thought away as he tries to focus on the topic at hand, the chairwoman leading the meeting on and getting started on who wants to share. Junhee keeps his head mostly lowered as he listens, though he can't help sneaking a peek at Jessica every now and again, wondering what landed her here, how long she's been coming to the meetings, whether she'd be awkward about it or if she didn't care at all. Should he even approach her at the end or would she prefer they don't talk about it?

[post deleted by owner]

@◈ park junhee⁻ᵖʳᵒᵈᵘᶜᵉʳ .
I’ll just use this for the upper class AA meeting shsk
trigger warning for sensitive topics : addiction and SA

“come everyone gather , we will have enough time to mingle. I want to thank each and every one of you for joining us here today. we are joined by someone new today..”
the chairperson spoke, her voice calming but it hardly settles the nerves and butterflies that swarm in jessicas stomach as she took her seat in the circle of chairs. it had been YEARS since she had been to an AA meeting. she wasn’t quite sure how she wandered back to a support group after all these years but as she fiddles with her freshly done nails, she might remember why without wanting to admit it. regardless, she’s here
“lets give her a warm welc-” the door to the large white room opens revealing a short plump woman
“I’m sorry to interrupt Ms. Choi , we have another attendee today. Go on ahead.”

jessicas eyes shift from the lady to a familiar face who steps through the threshold. junhee? producer junhee from dsf?

*Miso is always perfect at responding in a timely fashion, something Yeojin vows to thank her for one day, especially when her directions make them easy to find. She flutters down as silently as possible, nabbing up the empty seat that'd been reserved for her* I made it! *she whispers, offering a wave to the other girls*

*squints at the dimmed screen when her silenced phone lights up, indicating a new message*
Ooh it's her, she's here
*she informs softly, penning a quick two messages*

[ text to: yepjin :fairy: ]
- and she made it!! :confetti popper:
- vip section, ppali ppali~

*after briefly texting with Miso, I arrive at the arts center fully out of breath and frazzled to the Tee. Someone had spilled their coffee on the bus when it'd broken down and jolted, and the hem of skirt on her white dress was stained with a pitifully dark muddy brown, ruining the soft aesthetic she'd been aiming for*
*regardless of her lateness, she still took a moment to get to the nearest reflective surface, smoothing out her hair and wiping her hands down the wrinkles of her outfit as best as she could to put herself back together. With a final correction to her lip gloss, she inhaled a deep breath, and walked into the stage area*
*with everyone seated and the show all but begun, she strained to see her girls, whipping out her phone to text Miso*

[ Text to: Misoup on a rainy day ]
- which row again??

/yeojin/? wahhh, that'd be surprising
*laughs quietly behind a hand as if secret rendezvous aren't definitely something yeojin's done; uses the other to text*
just messaged her
*informs, getting comfortable again to watch the ballerinas on stage*

*shrugs lightly*
not sure, she said she would catch up with us but..
i'll text her in a few minutes, just in case

ballet's a little different, Zuha
*snickers, nodding in agreement with Wonyo, before the sound quietens as the theater lights dim*
booo, Yeojin's gonna miss the beginning

*laughs*
well, flopping is, like, half the fun! and 100% of the laughs~ we can flop together, Yunanana

Ohh so it'll be like a little reunion? Cyute!
*lags back a little to grab Yeojin's hand and make sure she doesn't fall behind, humming in agreed interest with Yuna's question*
And what shows have you done? I only know the basics like Swan Lake and The Nutcracker haha

Wooow
*does a little 360 as she enters, taking in the atmosphere of the center - specially decorated to accommodate the evening's show*
It's so nice in here~
*giggles, sidling up to Kazuha to nudge her with a shoulder*
That'd be fun! If everyone else's up to it, I'm game

@✵ xiao zhan⁻ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ *makes a tsking sound at you when you start to get dramatic, though its a playful and shy sound*
Ah Zhan! Be quiet!
*leans forward in my chair slightly, shrugging as I am always trying to juggle with all of these feelings myself*
Well I do like him. And he wants us to have a second chance. I just...I really hope things don't go wrong. What if we both come to find that after ten years...we've changed, you know?
*plays with my fingers, a little worried now that I verbalize my concerns*

@✵ victoria song⁻ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ /my gasp gets even more dramatic when you reveal the dynamics/
He's younger! Jie!!
/laughs, pulling back on the teasing a bit so you could have a chance to talk/
That's good. So you met up with him again. Any chance of it going somewhere? And don't tell me you don't want it to, jie. You looked so happy all of a sudden when you talked about him.

@✵ xiao zhan⁻ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ Look like what!
*responds in an equally exasperated manner*
*rubs my cheek, which is still cold despite us being indoors*
Actually, I'd like to think he liked me first. He's younger than me by a few years, and we met in high school
*shares with you the details of my relationship for the first time ever, besides when I told my family*
*laughs dryly*
But I guess it's kind of like a drama...except we're not that dramatic

@✵ victoria song⁻ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ /raises a brow when you actually respond, my curiosity piqued/
Oh. But why do you look like that?
/grins, since it was my turn to tease/
It's like a drama, jie. You liked him all the way from your elementary school days! Did I get it right?

@✵ xiao zhan⁻ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ *your comparison of your boyfriend to your girl group makes me chortle*
Well I'm sure that's because you don't want to say 'no' to him in the first place, is that right?
*chuckles, seeing how smitten you are*
*when you suddenly turn the point of conversation to me, I seem to get lost in my thoughts a bit*
Hm, well. There is someone. I wouldn't say I met him...more like...reconnected
*looks back up at you once I've organized my thoughts in my head a little better*
Yeah, reconnected and...just getting to know each other again

@✵ victoria song⁻ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ I'm not. He's younger, so it just feels like I'm dealing with another one of the girls I'm watching, only its a thousand times harder to say 'no' to him
/not wanting to say so much in public, I take a break from talking, occupying myself with finishing the tea set and my drink/
Jie must be so tired of hearing me talk. What about you? Meet anyone lately?
/quirks a brow up, not actually wanting to pry about your love life, only wanting to tease, understanding if you weren't going to share/

@✵ xiao zhan⁻ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ *nods in relief*
Then that's good. I'm not surprised that you have been, precisely because its you
*is amused by your laugh, wondering what shenanigans your idol boyfriend must have been up to*
Oh? Care to tell me what he likes to do? Seems like you're not frustrated by anything he does, hm?

@✵ victoria song⁻ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ Yes. We’ve been careful.
/thinks of all the precautions I’ve taken to be in public with you/
/laughs fondly when I remmeber all of Yibo’s attempts to dissuade me from keeping everything a secret/
But he doesn’t like to be careful. He’s so young and naive.

@✵ xiao zhan⁻ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ *makes a rather confused face at your question*
No, why would I care? I mean, I care about you and I'm glad that you're happy. But I trust you know what you'll have to do to help him keep his confidentiality about private affairs.
*knowing how things can always get out of hand when fans get too nosy or dispatch gets bored*
I just want you to be careful. So you two can be happy.

@✵ victoria song⁻ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ /in the middle of your reassurance, I realize I accidentally let slip anout Yibo’s occupation/
/freezes, staring at you with wide eyes/
Um-
/slowly releases a breath, trusting you enough not to snitch or care/
Jie, you don’t care that I’m dating one of the company’s idols?

@✵ xiao zhan⁻ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ *continues to laugh when you are embarrassed by my teasing*
what! It's the truth!
*when you give away the clue that this partner of yours is an idol, I have a pretty clear idea of who it is already*
Don't think like that Ah Zhan, you need to be positive
*smiles a little apologetically*
Don't mind me for being a busybody, but you just need to remember that throughout it all, he is an idol, so if he needs to do and say things for the stage and the camera, you'll have to understand him to make this relationship work

@✵ victoria song⁻ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ Jie...!
/pushes my lips out when you tease, shy to no end/
And we've only been together a bit but I keep getting ahead of myself! Like thinking about our future and everything when I know...
/trails off, struggling to word my struggles/
When I know that it probably won't. He's an idol. I'm... not. Which makes it worse.

@✵ xiao zhan⁻ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ Cute and considerate? Not an easy combo to find, I'll tell you that
*immediately after saying that, Henry flashes through my head*
*nods along with your little cue*
Oh for sure. And that's the most important in the long run - comfort
*chuckles and clicks my tongue*
Aiyo look at you. You don't even need to say it and I can already tell you're smitten. That's a good thing.

@✵ victoria song⁻ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ /when I’m asked about Yibo, my grin grows wider/
He’s cute.
/says immediately, my first thought about him/
He’s considerate. And… I dunno. I really like him. We click and we’re just comfortable with each other.
/finding that I can’t just list qualities, I offer vague words/
It’s so hard to say. You know what I mean, Jie?